Guest Lists, Table Manners and Radical Hospitality

Guest Lists, Table Manners and Radical Hospitality

Luke 14: 1, 7-14

March 30, 2025   Fourth Sunday of Lent

Lent Series – Bread of Life     Bread to Share

Rev. Cynthia Cochran-Carney, First Presbyterian Church, San Rafael, CA

 Imagine you are back in middle school. It may have been a while ago, maybe a few decades ago.  It’s the first day of school. You walk into the cafeteria and look around, try and gauge where your friends are sitting. You look for people who might be friendly and take your place. Why do you sit there? What happens when you can’t figure out your place? You don’t know the social rules.  What happens if you sit with people who are higher up on the social ladder than you see yourself to be? What happens if you sit with people who are lower down the social ladder than you see yourself to be?

  Our Gospel lesson today gives us a story of seating arrangements.

             One Sabbath, when Jesus went to eat in the house of a prominent Pharisee, he was being carefully watched.

            When Jesus noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable:   “When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give this person your place’, and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14:1,7-11 English Standard Version)

 What would it have meant for this to play out in that school cafeteria? For you to purposefully pick a less desirable table? For you to refuse to care about the social ladder? What would happen to your own standing?

 Particularly in middle school and high school these social orders can be quite apparent, but that doesn’t mean they disappear when we leave high school. It can happen in workplaces and social gatherings, even senior living communities and churches. 

 Jesus also questions who is invited to the table, challenging hosts to expand their guest lists:

 “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your family or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14: 12-14)

Luther College Professor, Rolf Jacobson had this to say about our scripture today,

 “In Urban Roman culture, patronage and the idea of status is everything. From how you’re dressed to how you present yourself there’s a clear demarcation of where you belong. So, if you’re invited to a party, it’s not like you’re going to look at all the chairs and say, ‘Hmm, I wonder where I’m going to sit.’ You know right away based on who you are and who everyone else in the room is, you just do. And to try to upset the balance of that threatens to shame you and shame your host… It sounds kind of strange to us and really calculating and maybe it was, but it’s just the way it works. So if you start to overturn that, and to mess with that and say ‘I’m going to invite people who could never ever pay me back or who could never return the political favor or the generosity or whatever,’ some people are going to start to get in their minds they don’t have to pay attention to those rules. So those who guard social order, or those who are simply trying to find their way in the world soon find this is a dangerous thing. You don’t give hope to certain people. You don’t upset the balance… this isn’t just nice, that ruins the entire system for everybody else potentially… There’s an edge to this, there’s a threat to this depending upon how it’s carried out.”

 Changing the status quo threatens the powers that be and threatens the value of social currency. Inviting everyone to the table will absolutely change what sort of meal happens there…. but it will also allow for a richness of diversity, a wealth of gifts, and a breadth of fellowship. All kinds of bread. Such a banquet may be chaotic, but it will be a life-giving reflection of the Kin-dom of God. 

 Jesus disrupted the status quo – not for the sake of causing unnecessary chaos, and not for drawing attention to himself but – for the sake of the poor and powerless. Examples:

Jesus associated with “inappropriate people” like the unclean (lepers, a bleeding woman) and traitors (tax collectors) and heretics (Gentiles, Samaritans). This would agitate anyone – even today – who only associate with people who look, speak, live, & worship like we do.

 Let’s imagine at the end of the evening of Jesus eating and teaching and embodying his wisdom.  The evening grows late. New etiquette lessons are over. Time to move on. Jesus stands up, and the person who is blind and the person who is has a withered hand and the child who cannot walk and has to be carried, have been sitting and eating with Jesus. They will follow him on and on because everywhere he is, there is a feast. And there is room for everybody at the table, nobody cares who sits where, and everybody shares in the abundance.

People would have been aghast about this radical hospitality. Jesus parable about a wedding banquet. It begins with Jesus noticing the guests at the supper in the house of a leader of the Pharisees and people choosing places of honor. Jesus’ message is simple: “But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place” (Luke 14:10).

Where to sit?  How to choose? Jesus says - Choose humility because being at the table is not a right, but a privilege, extended by the host’s generosity. This reminds us we are invited to God’s table solely because of God’s grace. Our response to this divine generosity is to humble ourselves, recognizing our place at the table is a gift, not an entitlement.

In second part of the parable, Jesus shifts the focus to a supper, and the question here is whom to invite when you’re a host. This presents a more radical challenge. Jesus instructs us not to invite those who can repay us, but to extend our invitations to “the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.”

These groups represent those who were socially and economically marginalized in ancient Palestinian and Mediterranean lands, and who remain vulnerable in our society today. We are asked to share meals with them. Why? By sharing a meal with those who cannot reciprocate, we embody God’s hospitality—an invitation given with no expectation of repayment. This is an open invitation, and we must make sure it remains open to those who are most often excluded.

In life we tend to keep score in our relationships

-           when kids are younger, we keep score with friends – playdates

-           with friends – dinner dates, favors

-           in marriage, who has done enough

-           neighborhood – cars people drive, their house, vacations they take

Jesus is reminding us not to keep score.  To offer hospitality and welcome only we expect something in return - That is the assumed rule. But we are called not to assume we know who is most important in the kindom of God, at God’s welcome table. 

 Preacher and teacher Sharron R. Blezard wrote this,

“Serving God and neighbor is more like a community potluck than a gourmet meal in the finest restaurant. It’s less about perfection and more about improvisation. It’s less about form and more about function. It’s less about looks and much, much more about love. It has something to do with rubbing elbows with strangers and kin alike; after all, both can present challenges. Instead of a guest list carefully crafted to reflect our wishes and wiles, Jesus crafts a “grace list” that is an open invitation to the party.  

“The point is this: At Jesus’ banquet table there is room for everyone. Great Aunt Mabel’s lime Jello salad can exist peacefully with vegan Valerie’s fresh green bean vinaigrette. Homemade mac and cheese can sit side-by-side with a bag of store-bought potato chips. Hamburgers and tamales and sno-cones co-exist and complement one another in delightful ways. When everyone brings his or her best offering, when we all show up, the banquet table groans with the goodness of God.”

Is it really possible?  Don’t we tend to measure ourselves and choose the appropriate place at the table where the “right” kinds of food are offered?  

 What if we think too much of ourselves?  We are good, we earned our place at the table, we see our worth by what we have accomplished and what we have.  We will take our place at the head of the table, thank you very much.

 Or what if we think too little of ourselves?  Too many mistakes, too much regret, too many ways I don’t deserve a place at the table. 

 In Lent, it is a season of reflection on our spiritual lives and honest exploration, we can open ourselves to healing and grace.  Seeking forgiveness.  Seeking re-orientation.  Seeing ourselves and others with eyes of Jesus.  Come. Sit with the rich diversity of people.  Jesus offended religious and civic leaders that leads to his trial & death.  Profound. Dangerous.

 Is there a different way of seeing ourselves & others? Can this happen?  Have we seen it? 

 Yes. It happens on Tuesday nights at the Street Chaplaincy Dinners.  People who are housed and people who are unhoused sit together to eat a meal, to listen and talk.

 And yesterday I learned about an event that made me smile.  At the Legion of Honor.  An annual event.  Not a black-tie event.  Not an expensive fundraiser. An event open to everyone for $15. The Legion of Honor held their popular Cake Picnic, where white-clothed tables were covered in colorful cakes.  Guests are invited to bring their own cake to the picnic and share it with the community at this sweet, decadent event. The picnic started at 10 am on the Legion of Honor’s front lawn. “Whether you’re a master baker or just learning to bake a cake, the event is open to everyone. Plus, you get to sample a generous supply of sweet treats while enjoying the Legion of Honor’s incredible views. If you’re not a fan of baking, store-bought cakes are totally welcome.” 

 Whether a potluck or cake picnic or Tuesday night dinner or a wedding feast, we are now hosts who live out God’s hospitality in our world. Luke emphasizes the detailed and surprising inclusive and diverse guest list and seating assignments.  May we be open to these parables about shared meals and how they teach us that humility and hospitality are expressions of embodied faith, deeply rooted in our experience of God’s love and grace. Amen.

 Resources

Lenten 2025 packet by Illustrated Ministry   “Bread Of Life” illustratedministry.com/breadoflife

Rev. Kathleen Henrion, “Come to the Feast,” 9.1.13  presbydestrian.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/

Cake Picnic at Legion of Honor  secretsanfrancisco.com/cake-picnic-legion-of-honor-sf