We Can’t Go Alone
Dec. 8, 2024 Second Sunday of Advent
Series: Words for the Beginning: Advent Reminders for New Seasons
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Ruth 1 (selected verses) (The Message)
Rev. Cynthia Cochran-Carney, First Presbyterian Church, San Rafael, CA
It's better to have a companion than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps… By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third person? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped. Ecc. 4: 9-10, 12
Once upon a time - it was back in the days when judges led Israel - there was a famine in the land. A man from Bethlehem in Judah left home to live in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The man's name was Elimelech; his wife's name was Naomi; Elimelech died and Naomi was left, she and her two sons. The sons took Moabite wives; But then the two brothers, died. Now the woman was left without either her young men or her husband.
“Go back, dear daughters - on your way, please! I'm too old to get a husband. God has dealt me a hard blow." Again they cried openly. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye; but Ruth embraced her and held on. Naomi said, "Look, your sister-in-law is going back home to live with her own people and gods; go with her." But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God - not even death itself is going to come between us!" Ruth 1 (selected verses)
The book of Ruth is one of my favorite books and every time I read it, I see something new and a deeper connection to the ways God calls us to live. Today let’s think about what kind of connections are described and what changes. An invitation to think about ways we feel alone and what it means to know we are created to be connected, in relationships and how we practice that in the church.
Ruth tells the story of an Israelite family who flee a famine in Bethlehem and settle in Moab, the land of Israel’s enemy. Within ten years, Naomi's husband and sons die. Naomi felt alone, hopeless,. She decides returns to Bethlehem when she hears that the famine has ended. Naomi encourages her two daughter-in-laws to stay in Moab. Orpah tearfully agrees to leave.
But Ruth had a different response. Ruth, a Moabite woman, could have returned to her birth family after her husband's death, following the expected path. But she wants to go with Naomi. Naomi overcome with loss and steeped in grief, initially pushes Ruth away. She even renames herself “Mara,” meaning “bitter.” Instead of leaving, Ruth chooses a radical commitment to her mother-in-law, saying, “Do not press me to leave you, to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go.”
Ruth’s choice wasn’t merely about devotion. It was the formation of a new family built not on blood but on kinship, on the daring belief that our lives are better intertwined. This is an example of an important biblical concept of Hesed. We have no English equivalent. It is Hesed that drives Ruth to stand with Naomi, Hesed that Boaz later shows toward Ruth, and ultimately, God’s Hesed.
Hesed shows up all throughout all over the books in the Bible. So, what does Hesed mean?
It has sometimes been translated as “mercy”, and certainly that’s a part – that undeserved forgiveness, compassion and grace. It is more than that. More communal.
Another way it’s been translated is lovingkindness. And yes, it feels like kindness, And undoubtedly it is full of love. Hesed is more intimate than kindness.
It has also been translated as loyalty. And this gets even closer, because it is a “through thick and thin”, “no matter what” kind of faithfulness and constancy. But loyalty can be exclusive, and Hesed is broad and inclusive.
One might even try calling it “Friendship,” in the classic sense, not the Facebook sense. Friendship as chosen love and commitment, not demanded by bloodlines or desired for personal gain, not for networking or nostalgia. Generous, really seeing another and desiring their best, choosing to be with and for them, Hesed is like friendship, but deeper, thicker, richer; it is what gives friendship its strength.
Perhaps the best way to think about Hesed is something like “belongingness”. It is the inner logic of belonging, the substance of it. It looks like compassion, mercy and loyalty, lovingkindness and friendship. It looks like choosing over and over again to be there with and for this other, no matter what and without end. Lifegiving, common good. (1)
This is God’s intention for us, this experience of belonging. To God, to each other, to creation. We’re better together, and deep down in her bones, Ruth knew it. Naomi’s grief doesn’t deter her. Ruth keeps moving toward Naomi, embarking on a journey to a new beginning. As much as Naomi needed Ruth, Ruth needed Naomi—a beautiful picture of mutuality, which is deeply needed in our fractured world
Ruth and Naomi’s journey to Bethlehem, mirroring another future trek to the same town by Mary and Joseph, is a pilgrimage of faith. Both journeys hold discomfort and uncertainty, yet the travelers take it on together. This kinship echoes through the lineage of Jesus himself, as Ruth, a woman who embodied the strength of connection over isolation, is named among his ancestors. We aren’t meant to do life alone.
The wisdom of Ecclesiastes reminds us, “Two are better than one . . . for if they fall, one will lift up the other.” This wisdom speaks to the fundamental human need for connection, no matter the relationship or what season of life we’re in. In our lives, in the church, in worship. How does our symbol this week help us?
The Log Cabin square, today’s quilt symbol, is a symbol of connection. Logs connected build a strong home, a place to feel at home, connected to others. The meaning historically of this block is that it is all about the home. At the center is usually either a red or yellow/orange or white square that signifies the fireplace and spirit of the home and hearth. The "log cabin" design symbolizes how we hold each other up and create something larger.
In the time of the Underground Railroad, the log cabin quilt was used to signify a safe house or safe place (church or other building) where people could stay for the night or for a few days. Think of how wonderful it would feel to see this quilt outside a home or church after a long day of walking. “This is a safe place to stop and recoup for a night or two. We have food for you and a safe place for you to sleep.” That was the message of this quilt. Connecting people to safety, freedom, other people, hope. You are not alone. (2)
Belonging. Connections. Yes, but we also know we are living in a time when people are not connected, are lonely and polarized. Robert Putnam, wrote Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community (2000) which documented a shift in American culture from communal engagement (Bowling leagues, participating in townhalls, etc) to a decline in these community and civic and recreational experiences within communities. He continues to study American culture. New documentary “Join or Die” about the importance of joining and connecting. He was interviewed recently by Lulu Garcia-Navarro from NYT. In his research, Putnam says we need to know there are two kinds of social capital: bonding & bridging. (3)
Most of us have people with whom we have bonded: childhood friends, college friends, work friends, longtime neighbors, family who are like BFFs, BFFs who are like family. They tend to be like us in multiple ways. They are like home to us. They get us. They know us. They most likely look like us, sound like us, act like us, think like us. Our encounters are fairly effortless. We tend to vote the same way.
But Jan Edmiston observes - What makes The Church thrive is a culture of bridging – or connecting people who would not ordinarily know each other or spend time together. (4)
Bonding is good. Bonding is essential in human life. And it’s not enough in terms of building community. Imagine if our congregations were communities in which different kinds of people bonded together because they followed the radical ways of Jesus.
Jesus built bridges between himself and Samaritans, lepers, tax collectors, heathens, the poor, the rich, the foreigner, the beggar, the unclean, the demon possessed, the powerful and the powerless. Ruth was a bridge builder. Imagine ways our church can create those same bridges.
Here is an image of the Queshuachaca rope bridge in Peru. It was created by hand and continues to be re-woven regularly to preserve its capacity to connect people over the rushing Apurimac River.
We are not meant to go alone. In each other's companionship, as move toward celebrating the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, may we find the reflection of the One who, in becoming flesh, chose to be with us, to share in our humanity, and to show us that we need each other.
As we move through the season of Advent and onto Christmas and then into a new year, may we know Hesed more deeply, know we are held always in God’s deep love, know the value of nurturing bonds of friendship and know that we are called to find ways to be a bridge-building congregation. Amen.
This sermon included content from our Advent 2024 materials published by A Sanctified Art
https://sanctifiedart.org/words-for-the-beginning-advent-bundle
1) https://kara-root.blogspot.com/2012/02/and-i-will-go-there-with-you-god.html
3) https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/13/magazine/robert-putnam-interview.html
4) https://achurchforstarvingartists.blog/2024/07/15/bonding-is-good-bridging-is-better/
